If you know me personally, you know I'm not a patient person. I like things done a certain way and in a timely manner. I believe that everything should be in place and in order and I overextend myself to keep up with this ridiculous OCD. I work sun-up to sun-down to have everything JUST SO.
I hate it.
It consumes my life.
It consumes my time.
It irritates my poor husband who has put up with it for so long.
I know this is a huge vice (among many others) of mine, but it's so hard to be patient and wait for things to happen.
I know Heavenly Father is watching over me. I know He loves me. I know He has a plan for all things, and they will happen in His time.
It's probably a lesson I need to learn, because things I'm anticipating tend to take FOREVER to happen/resolve and that's probably because I'm not learning anything. I'm just growing impatient and irritated. I'm not growing in patience.
This morning, upon reading more negative feedback from prospective buyers via our realtor, it just made my impatience even worse.
I made my way to www.LDS.org and started a scripture search for impatience and began reading. WOW. Humbled doesn't even begin to describe it. I felt such an overwhelming feeling of the Spirit and felt very compelled to fall to my knees in prayer.
I need help letting go. In my mind, I know the Will of our Father in Heaven will be done. In my heart I know it. Yet I can't allow myself to let. it. go.
Let. It. Go.
I think I need to change my approach. Concerning the house, I've been praying for someone to come and buy it. Maybe I should start praying for patience. For the ability to allow the Lord to bless me in the ways He sees fit, and not the ways I think I should be blessed.
A couple of scriptures really stood out to me
2 Peter 1:2
Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord
2 Peter 1: 6
And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
Doctrine and Covenants 37:13
Ye are not able to abide the presence of God now, neither the ministering of angels; wherefore, continue in patience until ye are perfected.
I am not perfect. I make so many mistakes. I repent of those mistakes and do what I can to be a better person. I'm constantly striving to be better. I really do try to live by President Hinckley's words and
Try a Little Harder to Be A Little Better
Everyday I fail.
Everyday I pray to have another day to try again. I'm so thankful I'm given a new opportunity every single day to try to become more Christlike.
Our Sunday School lesson last week was on hypocrisy and those who serve the Lord with their lips and not their hearts. I've been thinking of that lesson and have been asking myself "what have I done to serve the Lord, and serve others?"
I have so many friends who endlessly talk about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and I've always had such a respect for that, yet a precious few of them actually serve him with their hearts. They go to church on Sunday and throw in His name in conversation or their Facebook status updates...but it ends there. They do not serve others (or they just don't talk about it) They do not humble themselves and actually try to be Christlike until they walk in the doors of their church on Sunday morning.
One other thing that REALLY gets me are these friends who attend church regularly and then go out shopping or to dinner on Sunday. I've done it. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I've broken many commandments, so please don't take what I'm saying as "I'm perfect and have never done anything wrong" but one of the commandments is to keep the Sabbath Day Holy. To Rest.
How can we rest if we're out at Cracker Barrel and shopping at the mall? It may be relaxing for us, but us going out, means someone has to work. They don't get to rest and be with their family.
Again, I've gone out shopping and out to eat on Sunday. Like I said, I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.
We are all hypocrites. We all need to do more to keep the commandments and our Covenants with Heavenly Father.
Religious rant over.